Threat Level: BLUE

Rants from MommyLand has a very useful parenting tool, the 'Mommy may lose her Schmidt' advisory system http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2010/05/mommy-will-lose-it-advisory-system.html

I will be adopting this advisory system and will post everyday (I make a lot of promises don't I!) what level I'm currently at.  When reading her blog post and laughing out loud, because it's all SO true we were at Defcon 1.  Green.  Thing 1 was eating lunch quietly, I am on schedule as far as the house is concerned and Thing 2 was comfy in his crib and ready for a nap.

Right now we're hovering at a high blue with the definite possibility of hitting yellow.  I am pleased with Thing 1, she is making good progress on her lunch and has a smile on her face.  She may be rewarded with something fun after lunch.  She's been asking for playdoh time...

Thing 2 is now screaming in his crib.  Oh, breathe, I went up with poopy butt supplies, but alas, clean butt.  I retrieved his binky, laid him down and snugged him all back up for a nap.  As soon as I sat back down, he started up again.  Nothing has deviated from our schedule except from the fact that he is not yet asleep.

He will most likely cry for a while longer and realize I am not his puppet and give in the awesome and tempting powers of naptime.  In this event we will stay at blue and possibly go back down to green.

IF HOWEVER he does not succumb to the sleepy and I am forced to go get him, I will be forced to move to Defcon 3 (YELLOW) and get him back up and the ensuing sleepiness, eye rubbing, being mad & crying will inevitably move up the chart.

So for now, we sit here at blue and pray to god I don't see red today.  On another note I will turning 26 in 6 days.  I like cash.  And maids.

I just told Thing 1 she needed to eat her pb&j crust and now she's crying.

OH SCHMIDT.

Just the beginning

Oh summer.  Today is Memorial day, the official (or is it unofficial?) kickoff of summer.  My daughter just finished preschool and will be starting a kindergarten (homeschool) curriculum in September, so I am starting to feel the term summer vacation even more acutely than I did before.

We spent a good portion of the day laying out in the sun and swimming in the pool.  Eating chips and drinking beer (hers of the root variety and mine of the Leinenkugels).  We ran through the sprinkler, my hubby cooked out and a charcoal grill has never smelled better.  We had a delicious linner (you know when you eat so late that you're still full at dinner time) of hot dogs, burgers, chips, potato salad, pickles, watermelon.  It was sooooo good.

I always forget every year how TIRED the sun makes you feel.  I ended up passing out for a couple hours and Mekius took the kids back out so Thing 2 could go out as well (he was napping earlier in the day).  Then we watched some cartoons and I went back out with Thing 1.  Mekius made her dinner and no joke, she fell asleep in her chair trying to eat it, so now she's in our bed, half awake and trying to fight past the sleepy.  She'll wake up 2-3 more times before she finally emerges victorious.  Thing 2 is also upstairs 'napping' (read: singing and banging cars together) so as not to bother his sleeping sister.

Despite having slathered sunscreen on the both of us, I burned.  Shocker, I know.  Random patterns on my thighs, the tops of my feet, my chest and my forehead. Everything else was for some reason spared and I look like some sort of custom painted tomato.  Neither of the kids got burned, though in a couple weeks Hailey will start sporting some impressive tan lines. Girl has yet to burn (thank god) and seems to have her Daddy's ability to tan.

I will always say that fall is, hands down, my favorite season.  There's Halloween, Thanksgiving, Thing 1's birthday.  The apple orchard, pumpkin patch, leaves falling.  I love EVERYTHING about fall.  It might help that with everything outside dying and not yet being trapped inside the house for winter, that this is the happiest time for my allergies.  That paired with the fact that Christmas is my favorite holiday, there is just SOMETHING about summer.

Laying out in the sun and feeling the heat, and appreciating the occasional breeze takes me back to being 15 years old and spending every day laying out at the pool.  Sometimes I would go with my friends, sometimes alone.  I just loved laying out and soaking up the sun.  I love the feeling after coming in and taking a shower, putting on a soft light sundress and just being comfy.  The contrast of your body being hot from the sun and soaking up the a/c is nice too.

Growing up, we had a lot of things in walking distance, the pool was one of them.  Through the parking lot, through the opening between TCBY/Subway and the bank.  Around the circle drive.  Up the street and across the field.  My feet know the path well and I'm not sure I'll ever forget it, as long as I live.  I walked it many times, with my friends, my family and even by myself.

I would ride bikes with friends, or walk with my mom.  I remember the walks home with my mom always included a trip to Jewel to pick up things for dinner.  I can remember far enough back to sitting on the wooden bench in the kiddie pool packing up our purple plastic beach tote to go home.

I even had my first kiss at that pool.  I was there with my parents but playing with my friends and we all got out to say goodbye to him.  My friends and I were sixth graders and he was an eighth grader.  He was flirty; and we all know flirty eighth graders like to hug.  He hugged everyone and when he got to me, he kissed my cheek.  I would have turned red had it not been the middle of summer.  I don't know what I did to deserve that, but thank you Casey Porter, you made sixth grade AWESOME.  You also created the first gray hairs on my Dad's head, since when I turned around he was looking right at me.  He didn't say anything though, which I may have my mom to thank for that.

Thought it may not be my favorite season, summer has always been special to me.  It has held the happiest moments of my life and the first thing I lamented the loss of when I found out we were going to move.  My parents actually told me at the end of summer that they wanted to move and I ended up losing someone I cared about very much.  A certain boyfriend I had that never wanted to admit it to his friends because all of them were too stupid or immature for girlfriends.  I told him I was moving and that was basically it, he was upset with me because I was leaving and left it at that.

But I digress.  Summer is just.  Sigh.  I could talk all day about what I felt when I saw the carnival rides up over Arlington Market when I was a kid, but this post is long enough, so maybe another time <3

Babyhawk Giveaway

I'n sharing with you another blog today, who is featuring a giveaway for a VERY coveted item in our household. A baby hawk giveaway.  Please check it out here http://www.theclothspring.com/2011/04/babyhawk-review-and-giveaway.html and you can also check out the babyhawk website for even more information.

Amen

Prayer can be a powerful thing.  But sometimes it gets wordy.  Have you ever been at someone's house and they pray for a meal and you wonder if they're praying to god or their audience?

I know of a few.  You know the kind that says Dear Lord every three words?

Now I pray with my kids every night at dinner and Thing 1 usually likes to do it.  Thing 2 usually babbles along or throws his cup on the ground but today Thing 1 wanted me to do it.  I don't want to get wordy, and I don't want to pray to an audience.  Typically her prayer goes 'Dear god, thanks for bible stories, eating, Mommy, Daddy, Baby Adam and Hailey.'  She cuts to the quick, says what's on her heart and what she's thankful to god for.  It doesn't need to be padded or wordy, god knows what's on your heart anyways, saying it out loud is just a courtesy.  No need to make it flowery, he hears it twice.

So my pray at dinner went like this...
Dear God,
Thank you for our food and our home, thank you for Mommy, Daddy, Baby Adam and Hailey.  Please keep Daddy safe on his drive home from work so he can be with us.  Amen.

What I am thankful for and what I am asking him for in it's simplest form.  That's it.  That's how it always should be.  A friend once described the wordy people overly churchy type as 'Easter' people.  I like to think of myself as a 'Thanksgiving' person.  Someone perpetually thankful for their life, love and blessings and praying to keep those things safe.

A book suggestion for you, 'Heaven is real' by Todd Burpo
I normally try not to, advertise I guess for religion, god, Christianity because I know it's not for everyone and I know there are varying degrees of faith, but please.  Read this.  It's an amazing book.  For believers, non-believers and every flavor in between.  It's a book about love, being a parent, being scared and faith and I read it on the recommendation of a good friend and I was not disappointed.  I read it in 3 hours only breaking to make dinner.  Please read <3

Nucking futs.

You may (or may not) have noticed that it's been 8 days since I have last blogged (fans please forgive me).

The proverbial WIND, has left the SAILS.

I have been so blah in the last several weeks that it's been hard to muster up any sarcasm or witty snark.  Oh how I miss witty snark.  Thing 1's pre-k graduation went smoothly, I cried, she ate cupcakes.  Huzzah.  Oh and new awesome Type 1 pre-k mom?  Not so much my type.  She's nice, friendly and graciously hospitable, but we don't have a thing in common.  She's 13 years older than me, which is not so much a disservice to us as almost all of my friends are 5+ years older than me.  This does not phase me.

We just don't have anything in common, we are two wildly different personalities.  The first time we went to visit, I could see her electric green thong sticking out of her pleather pants.  Her house was DIRTY.  I'm no neat freak by any stretch of the imagination (LIARLIAROCDLIAR), but when I spend all my time at your house either trying to teach you how to use your electronics or walk around picking up dog food because my son is trying to eat it....that's where I draw the line.

If I can't even blink for fear of my children putting something horrid in their mouths or I have an obsessive pulsing urge to power wash the inside of your house, it just IS NOT going to work out.

So that's had my mood all askew, knowing there is only so long I can make excuses before she's going to say something.

That and we've been making plans for the summer.  In July we're going to the Dells with my hubby's whole family, June we're going up to Milwaukee for the weekend for the zoo and in August it's my Mekius' turn to plan our anniversary (5 years) and the fair is in August too.  These are all really exciting events and I can't wait and it seems like May is just creeping and crawling at a snail's pace to further incense me.

We don't REALLY have any plans for Memorial day, except I have cookout fare stocked in the house and WCTW we will just cook out at home and RELAX.  But still. I want the fun stuff. Sad face.

Running through the grass

Normally my trips to Walmart are for random things like lettuce, koolaid packets, ice cream and bandaids.  Well not today.  Today I went armed with a list.  A list may I add, that did not have food and only very few necessities.

Today, we got FUN stuff.  The kids got a sprinkler and a small pool, a Turtle bath toy scoop and a new cup for rinsing (supposed to keep water out of their face) and Thing 1 got a dress for her pre-school graduation.  It's a small ceremony held at the school for family, then there will be a reception afterwards.  I have no idea if she will get a little paper diploma or wear a little robe or hat, but she did get a pretty new dress to wear, will get a card and some flowers.  This is no big for her, I know this.  The dress, the card, the flowers, making it a big deal is for me.

My baby girl is going to be 5 this year and she's graduating pre-k in 3 days.  She'll stay with my in the fall and we'll do homeschool kindergarten and next fall I have to hand her over to the school district.  I know how blessed I am to have another year with her at home.  But it's going quickly and next year when Kindergarten starts she will no longer fill my days.  My world will still revolve around her and her brother, but soon her days will be spent busy at school and not with Mama anymore.  You don't know how much that breaks my heart.  Or maybe you do...

She's always on fast forward and all I want to do is slow down and rock her to sleep one more time.  I know how quickly it goes and I see it slipping now with Adam, it's like warp speed and I can't slow it down.  The older they get the faster it goes.  Undoubtedly, I will cry on Thursday.

Mother's Day

My mother's day was pretty awesome, I only had one beef.  No card from the hubby.  Yes I got some very cute shoes and a trip to Teavana for myself, but there is something about the sentiment in the typical Husband to Wife Mother's Day card that I really needed to hear.  He could have just gone online, found a line on the Hallmark website and recited it and it would have been just as good.  But to not have your husband tell you he loves you and you're doing a good job on the day that is supposed to honor us, well it kind of makes me worry that he doesnt....and I'm not.  I would rather have had the loving words than the material things.

Thing 1 made me a very nice poem and painting at school, along with a macaroni frame and a little yellow marigold in a styrofoam cup.  I swear to Gumby, this is why I had kids.  I still remember one year when I was very young, we 'bronzed' one of our old shoes (READ: the teacher spray painted them bronze) and we used them as planters.  I was very proud of my work and obviously decided I was the best daughter ever.  I don't imagine the plant survived living in my shoes, but I can recall for many years, that empty bronze shoe sat in the cabinet under the sink.  Empty, but still there.  I imagine she just didn't want to throw it away :)

Both of the kids gave me cards, a bar of Lindt Dark with a touch of sea salt, a very pretty birthstone necklace and I wore my silk floral corsage for the day.  All of the above are from Thing 1's super sneaky Mother's day shopping while we were at Walmart (READ: she ran away while in Walmart and came back with a weird assortment and too many items, maybe she has 'another mother' like Coraline?)

Mother's Day for us started around 8am, with Mekius yelling at Thing 1 because he was half asleep and she was trying to show him a toy, so I got up to get the crying little girl in the bathroom and assure her that yes, Daddy does indeed still love her and does really like her toy.  Then we were up for a while and Mekius made us all pancakes and sausage with orange juice (he makes the best pancakes).

Then I did one of my FAVORITE things ever.  I went back to bed.  Eating breakfast on the weekends and then crawling back into bed was a very common occurrence as a kid.  It was kind of tradition.  So it gave me all kinds of warm fuzzies to have a tummy full of yummy breakfast and climb back into bed to go to sleep.  I got up around 12:30 and made Mekius go mow the lawn :D

We went and cooked out with Mekius' family and I got some very pretty flowers from both my inlaws and grand inlaws which I can't wait to plant.  We had some yummy food and sat around playing games before calling it quits and heading home.  From the time we got in the car to bedtime, Thing 1 was ALL ABOUT Mommy.  We cuddled all night watching Despicable Me and then crawled into my bed and read 'On the night you were born' and a chapter from 'Charlotte's Web.'  I thanked her for a very nice Mother's Day and for being my little girl and she went 'Aw shucks Mommy, I love you sooooooo much....Can I sleep with you?'

And that's the story of how Mekius ended up sleeping on the couch last night......
What?  The girl got me a card ;D

Uhhhhh

Our sarcasm eludes, but we miss our loyal readers, so today I will share quotes I have pinned to my board on pinterest.  Check it out at pinterest.com it's like extreme flair, I love it.

'In order to be irreplaceable, one must ALWAYS be different'- Coco Chanel

Piglet: how do you spell love?
Pooh: you don't spell it, you feel it..

'Pretty pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than, you're fucking perfect to me'-Pink

'It's better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life'

'I don't need to flirt, I will seduce you with my awkwardness'

'Things are getting worse, please send more chocolate'

'You have NO idea how fast my heart races when I see you'

'The heart wants, what the heart wants'

Alice: This is impossible..
Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is...

'Do one thing every day that scares you' -Eleanor Roosevelt

'You are the reason I became stronger, but still, you are my weakness'

'Sometimes the things we can't change, end up changing us'

'I love it when I hear lyrics that totally apply to my current situation'

'You are the closest I will ever come to magic'

'Drink wine and carry on'

'Keep calm and find yourself a Mr. Darcy'

'In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer'

'Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive, who is youer than you'

'You've got enemies? That means you actually stood up for something in your life'

Introducing....

Zombiemom & Fluffimama…..would like to (not really) introduce you to a third member of our crazy party.  Meet FutureMe. 

Thanks guys, for the lukewarm welcome!  FutureMe (that’s me) is the me in the future who tells everyone else what not do.  Or what to do.  I am the one who knows what’s going to happen and warned against it, but it’s not very often they listen to me.

For instance, today in the kitchen Fluffimama hit culinary gold and actually spent a large amount of time debating whether ‘Mouthgasm’ or ‘Fuckawesome’ were acceptable names for a plate of food.  But I digress (although my personal vote was for fuckawesome).

Knowing what I do, I would like to go back a decade, tell nerdy 15 year old me with braces that you got skills.  You can cook and have tons of potential.  Screw all your other plans, go to culinary school and cook your way up to the top and open restaurants and write cookbooks.

Except….

Like a lot of skills I have in life, I only like using them for my personal gain.  Obviously I enjoy the fruits of my labor, but I do these things for my family as well, because I enjoy it and so do they.  I love cooking for family and friends and I have my dream kitchen all planned out in my head. 

Cooking for strangers…..not so much…..

I’m not looking for critique, or money (LIES!), or fame.  I would love to write a cookbook, or even see some of my recipes appear in a restaurant.  I don’t feel like I have the time, energy or patience to be a chef at a restaurant.  I barely have enough of that to be a Mom!

So that’s where my knowing the future comes in handy, I could have zapped back there and told her what it was and that would be the end of it.  And since we’re already on that topic, I would have also told her….

Put the damn cupcake down….

You don’t look half as bad as you think you do….

That girl is NOT your friend….

DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

I tend to get off on a tangent, it’s because I know so much…ya know…the whole FutureMe thing?

So in lieu of a dirty, yet appropriate name for this dish which I am trying to eat my hubby’s share of in the fridge we shall merely call it….for now… ‘chicken with sweet pepper salsa.’ 

Because I know you’re all dying to know, I will share it with you.  But don’t steal it, I want to put it in my cookbook!

Chicken breast (4 pieces)

Salt & Pepper

4 tbsp olive oil

4 cups thinly sliced peppers (I used sweet yellow/orange/red)

1 medium onion thinly sliced (Vidalia)

4 cloves garlic

2 tsp basil + seasoning

3 tbsp balsamic vinegar

Season the chicken with salt, basil and pepper.  Sauté chicken over medium high heat in 2 tbsp olive oil until golden on the outside, remove to bowl.

Add remaining 2 tbsp oil and reduce to medium heat.  Cook bell peppers and onion until just softened (5 min).  Add garlic and cook an additional 2-3 minutes, stir in basil and vinegar.  Put in food processor and chop until it’s the consistency of salsa.  Return mixture to skillet.  Return chicken and juices to skillet.  Reduce heat to medium low.  Simmer till cooked through.  Remove chicken.

To serve I made a pillow of the salsa and rested the chicken on it and served it with garlic bread.  I imagine this would taste great with rice as well.

I am actually considering learning how to can so I can make this fresh and enjoy it all year.  With chips as salsa, on top of steak or fish, a spread on a sandwich.  Makes me wonder if I add some tomatoes if I can make my own pasta sauce as well.  Seriously delicious, I want nothing to eat this summer but pepper salsa.

Wrong size mold

I always feel like I'm disappointing someone.  I'm sorry if I don't fit into the mold you put me in, but it's your fault for putting me there in the first place.  I fit perfectly in my own and I'm happy with who and what I am.  It seems like everyone had a different plan for me and they expected that the pink hair, tattoos and jeans and band shirts were a phase I would outgrow.  Sorry that I've failed you.

I feel like I've let everyone in my life down, so I guess my Gleek Shirt would say...

FAILURE.